Re Psycho...
Visit one [of counselling sessions].
Wish I hadn't thrown the notes away. I wanted to get rid of the 'evidence' of our discussion. I didn't want anything that reminded me I had been to visit him. Anyway, I worked out for myself that I had been 'sullen' with him in line with my behaviour as a child with the psychotherapist's [I had in the childrens home]. Almost couldn't bear the process, but had to remind myself that I do need some support and that I had requested the treatment. It feels a weird process indeed, very uncomfortable.
Visit two.
Writing this in hindsight... I was more cheery at this visit. Not sure that I can trust him...