Visit 9 continued.
(...)you want to bust/pop but as soon as you do - you'll face grave dissapointment and can't replace the fetish. The imperative with a fetish is that you can't get to it (by self-repression), e.g. you could get to it, but won't do it.
He acknowledged that he's in this strictly professional relationship with me, but that it has some depth to it and there'll be a sense of loss when it ends and that I'll feel it too but it's how it should be, with the ripples of positive outcomes touching upon and(...)