Visit 9 continued.
(...)eventually becoming the focus of my life outside of the counsellor's office. I talked to him about my low self-esteem - which oscillates between high self esteem (ridiculously) to an implosion of horror as the reality of 'me' is revealed through life. I mentioned finding a more consistent route. **** doesn't think I'll need to. He feels that I should keep commications going (with myself and others) and that when I feel outrageously/excessively in one mode to admit it to myself/ others.