After visit 13 continued.
(...)weeks I'd ended up going on sick. He asked if my animosity towards him was due to the long break and the fact that he picks when he'll see me. I said not (but I do think there's a bit of that) and that it was probably due to the turbulent emotions that the sessions generate. He searched then for the specificity of these emotions. I ducked and hid as usual, but was determined to speak boldly in an 'adult' manner and eventually said I was referring to the intense ******* that I had felt for him. He said he was going to work with me to help me to understand that these feelings weren't bad and that by talking about them we'd uncover the nature of the split (good/bad) dichotomy that I've formed and hopefully this will lead to some sort of self-unification and hence happiness/well-being.