Week 17 continued.
(...)but I do wonder. The session ended early, by my choice and [at] his prompting. I felt quite shocked and unsettled by my behaviour, I don't really understand it. *** linked my feeling vile to *****'s rejection of me. This rejection was compounded by the way I was viewed by my teenage peers at school. Very unsettling. I was terse with ***, [saying] that I had (past tense!) felt sexual feelings for him (when he was using his comforting 'its okay, not bad voice', implying the past tense was firmly fixed. I also felt a need to call his 'bluff' when he suggested an early finish. Interesting, not sure. Please be nice and genuine next week Sue!