Week 20.
Getting harder to attend... Worrying about it. Got to go and tell [*** that] if I don't firmly 'place' him in a 'safe' role, immediately and by some sort of default mechanism he occupies an all powerful/possessing sexual male figure for me. (...). I feel sad, dirty and empty at this, dreading next session; nowhere to hide. I've lost that feeling of love and warmth...