Week 24 continued.
(...)be we should explore why I felt blank... I said [it] was the same blankness that plagued me socially be it with men or women... that I feared a 'real me' might be discovered behind/through the blank. The same 'real me' that I constantly try to suppress... frivolous, impulsive, stupid, base etc. *** related this to that part of me that I take with me when I walk out of sessions, the part that I don't give expression to, that behind the 'middle class lecturer persona' that I've established. Yes. That's the one... the one I despise and have no respect for. 'Where does she come from?' asks ****. I know immediately... she's a small girl... the little sister... the selfish one who is glutenous to the point of self destruction. She who was(...)