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[My] MA payments being kept officially secret.
M asking me to spy on people.
E asking me to keep a 'book' on people.
Me feeling obliged to do this book to protect me.

13th September 1996
I helped college through induction [and] inspection. R walked out, A left, J won't [comply], P can't [cope], E stood in [but] she can't cope. This time they're making me do it [run the GNVQs she wants so bad]. I've more teaching than ever. No print/media curriculum leader, no guarantee of new staff. I don't know if I can do this. They want me to work miracles. I've started shaking, I've started to have to drink to relax quick. I'll try my best, no guarantees. I'll be honest if it's too much. This massive load (extra) that they are now asking me to take on, means I can't plan and prep. They've told me to let go of my striving for quality. 'Don't do lesson plans, don't do prep, just be there organising'. They've given me a nearly impossible task.

25th September 1996
Having photography [department] taken away without prior notification/consultation(...)